Sunday, January 13, 2013

Is That Soo Wrong?

More often than I'd like to admit, I find my internal monologue asking myself, "Is that so wrong?"

Actually, no, that's not entirely accurate. 

Truth be told, it's with more frequency lately my little voice asks, "Is that soo wrong?!?", in an almost incredulous, how-dare-you-ask-that-of-me (but secretly knows I'm guilty of something) kind of voice.

Here's a list of what still has me wondering, is that soo wrong?
(Do your best not to judge, please)

  • Considering not letting my soon-to-be-five-year-old (the Bigger Kid of my two) to go to the birthday party of a classmate the day before her own party because the other kid's party sounds waaaay cooler than the one we have planned for our kid
  • In response to a text message sent by my 70 year old mom to tell me she cannot talk due to a case of laryngitis, I promptly reply, "It's as if all of my dreams have finally come true!" And no, I did not include an emoticon happy face at the end of my message :(
  • Using the cheap pre-grated cheddar cheese for my kids while saving the expensive, imported stuff for me and the Tall Guy
  • Pretending I'm asleep when one or more children enter my room before seven am on the weekend and letting Tall Guy get up with them
  • Not wanting to invite my daycare provider's nice kid to Bigger Kid's birthday party because it might mean SIX extra mouths to stuff pizza, cake and ice cream into if she decides to bring her husband and all FOUR of her kids
  • Not wanting to invite certain adult friends to BBQs at our house because I'm afraid their eight year old son may torture my dog or light the house on fire if left unattended 
  • For years, deliberately withholding information about Facebook (specifically, that Facebook exists)  from my mother because I don't want to be "friends" with her on it.                                          Even though I'm "friends" with all six of her brothers and sisters 
  • Jokingly asking the Bigger Kid if she would like peanut-butter on toast for breakfast every morning even though she is highly allergic and would likely need emergency medical treatment if even one bite was taken*
  • Feeling guilty when Tall Guy offers to let me go overseas for a friend's wedding without him (because we cannot afford airfare for all four of us) but accepting his offer anyway
  • Eventually getting mom on Facebook but only after explaining that no, I will not be her "friend" because of the Slippery Slope it would create for me and the possibility of having to "friend" my mother in law**

This is not a complete list and it's probably not the worst of things I've said, done or thought today, much less this week. 

This may have to be a regular thing, though, I think it may be somewhat therapeutic, for me.

What have you done lately that has made you ask yourself, is that sooo wrong?

*The Bigger Kid always laughs and says, no to the peanut butter on toast
**The Facebook thing about my mother-in-law is true. It really is a slippery slope


  1. I always save the better stuff for me and give my kids the cheaper stuff.

    I hide candy in my bedroom and never share.

    And, I started a brand new blog because my mom and brother were following my "anonymous" blog and commenting with their first and last names. And making it obvious by their comments and or tweets exactly how we were related. So I totally get the facebook thing.

    1. Ok, so I'm not alone in this. That's good. Or bad.

      We may have an entire generation of kids that were raised by a bunch of selfish assholes that ate all the Dove chocolate out of their hard-earned Halloween bags, leaving them those chalk-like Hersheys bars.

      Only time will tell...

  2. I'm on board with all of that (though thankfully I don't have a kid with an allergy, and my MIL doesn't even own a computer let alone know how to work Facebook).

    I don't think any of that is bad at all!

    And I'm with you, My Half Assed Life - I totally hid the good chocolate all over the house and don't share!

    1. Dear Next Step,
      I just took the liberty of writing your MIL an email that explains in 76 easy-to-follow steps, how to get started on Facebook.

      You're welcome!

  3. Nothing wrong with that list at all. We save the good stuff for ourselves and feed the Minions the lesser value things.

  4. hahaha! Your list doesn't seem bad at all. hmmm Does that mean we both suck? Nah, we both rock!

  5. I've straight-up BLOCKED my in-laws on Facebook. And good call on the cheese; when the boy was 9 months old, he got addicted to this Irish cheddar that's $9 for a 4oz. block. Fancy bitch.

    1. Just discovered how to block on Facebook- thank god!

      Oh, and uh, if you don't see a lot of traffic from me, uh, it's uh, no, I swear, I didn't block you...I swear it!!!

      I'll prove it- you can come over and have some of my fancy cheese!!!

  6. LOVE this list! I'm totally with you in the slippery slope department...and the "good" cheese :)