Monday, October 22, 2012

Knee Jerk Reaction

I thought I hurt my knee doing squats and lunges at the gym the other day.

But as it turns out, I actually just got old.

The exam and xrays confirm that I have no acute injury, just wear n' tear typical of a very active, a-hem, person of a certain age. So the bad news is that no matter how often I go to the gym or how many miles I can run, these activities cannot stop my knees or all my other parts from aging. Grrr....

High on pain meds in the middle of the day, I've begun to think of all the dangerous poorly planned dumb things I've done in my life and my career and I came up with the following:

Tracking and tranquelizing black bear in the wild as a Game and Fish intern - No injury
Lifting Gigantasaurus baby out of crib multiply times daily for 18 months - Torn rotator cuff

Running 5 marathons with less than optimum "long runs" while training - No injury

Running 6th marathon in new (tight) shoes - Stress fracture of metatarsal (broke foot)

Jumping into arms of friend standing waste-high at the bar pool in Mexico in order to demonstrate a pivotal scene in Dirty Dancing - Bruise on bottom of foot

Upping my workouts to two hours daily, 4 days a week in order to continue to eat and drink as many potato chips and diet tonic and vodkas as I want and then finding out the pain in my knee is not a torn ACL but just worn down cartilage - Enormously bruised ego

*Sigh*




7 comments:

  1. I broke my tailbone drinking...

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  2. Getting old(er) does suck, but as my dad used to say, "beats the alternative!"
    And I soo want to hear how a tailbone can get broken due to drinking...

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  3. I tried to get a piggy back ride from a friend while we were both so drunk we had to have the scene described to us after the fact by a 3rd party: cracked my head open, concussion, 8 staples in my head. Yes, I said STAPLES!

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  4. I'm sorry. I keep picturing said pivotal scene from Dirty Dancing (my favorite movie of all time) and I can't figure out for the life of me how one could bruise the bottom of their foot?!?!

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  5. Um, Courtney, not only was I drunk when I attempted the move, I'm pretty sure I was drunk when I wrote the blog above, so really, who knows how I did it?

    On the other hand, who else can tear a rotator cuff lifting a baby??

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