Tuesday, November 13, 2012

41 is the New 14

Day 1: How My Girls's Weekend Away turned me into a 14 year old boy

  • I giggled at and provided sex, fart and poop jokes during a six hour drive across the desert
  • My Road Trip Bestie giggled at and provided sex, fart and poop jokes
  • No vegetables were eaten
  • I ate fast food exclusively and wiped my mouth with my sleeve
  • Thought it was funny when a drunk buddy of mine placed his scrotum onto the the phone of a second drunken buddy when the phone was left unattended
  • Made a pact with Bestie that some secrets are best kept between friends

Day 2: How Day Two turned me into a 22 year old man

Together, Bestie and I:
  • Drank more Skyy vodka and Captain Morgan's than water
  • Ate only potato chips and pizza
  • Stayed up until 4 am
  • Laughed and lauged with old friends about nothing very funny at all
  • Don't remember stumbling to bed or passing out on couch
  • Did not suffer from a hang over next morning

Day 3: How I know for certain that I still really am, a 41 year old mom
  • Never forgot to take multi-vitamin, Calcium and Glucosamine supplements daily
  • Only recreational drugs used were from a totally legal Valium prescription 
  • Did not  take off clothing or have sex with or in front of friends or strangers
  • Brushed and flossed teeth before passing out face-first and fully clothed on couch
  • Felt zero shame speaking and making kissing noises on the phone to the two year old while standing in line to see panda bears at San Diego Zoo
  • Felt some shame while visiting a zoo without kids
  • Bought two over-priced pink souvenir T-shirts for the kids to throw them off the scent
  • Waited until 2 pm for a 'hair of the dog'
  • Marvelled that Road Trip Bestie had hers at 9 am


  1. I like that you are more proud that I flossed than the fact that I keep my boobs where they belong.
    I'm not really sure what that says about either one of us...

  2. That pact is iron-clad, right? RIGHT??
    Also, if I had realized you'd be blogging about the trip, I would have insisted on visiting the haunted burial ground/Sasquatch habitat three houses down from where we were staying. Although given your penchant for "getting busy" in graveyards, maybe I would have gotten more than I bargained for....

  3. Yes, the pact is tight, tight,TIGHT!
    However, it was waaaay too cold for Squatchin' and you know it, Dessy.
    And yes, I have a 'thing' for graveyards and I may have wound up needing a warm place to stick my hands if-you-know-what-I-mean....