Sunday, November 4, 2012

Shit I've Accomplished This Week

After a very busy two weeks attending to my injured and needy knees and mother, I have finally found myself back at the laptop. 

Despite missing blogging about really important things, I feel good about my absence in the blogosphere thanks in no small part to how totally f*cking awesome I am because of all the other shit I got done. 

Don't feel intimidated when you read the list of all the awesome shit I got done- you can always shoot for next week and aim low as I like to do.

  • Put away most of clothing from the spare bedroom/laundry expo room downstairs so my my mom could spend the week with us.
  • Found new home for "spirited" puppy that helped break my 70 year-old-mom's wrist while on a walk
  • Did physical therapy for my knees every other day
  • Thought about swimming as a low-impact alternative to jogging or aerobics several times
  • Blogged about swimming once
  • Took a two hour nap 
  • Almost had friends over for a barbecue (they had to cancel at last minute)
  • Did not clean or stress about not cleaning prior to barbecue
  • Did not get wasted in front of friend in 12 step program
  • Got kid up from nap, as suggested by the Tall Guy, so she wouldn't be up all night tonight
Just to make you feel better about not doing half the shit I did, here's a list of the things I did but perhaps need improvement on

  • Piled rest of clothing from spare room on various horizontal surfaces in the house or on closet floors
  • Pawned off annoying puppy on very good friends 
  • Lied in my blog about how often I did PT for my knees the past two weeks
  • Actually went swimming as a low-impact alternative to jogging or aerobics once
  • Yelled, "CANDY!" from downstairs in order to get kid up from nap quickly
  • Psst- totally do not mention to the Tall Guy that I got laid last night- he may start to become suspicious
So what the hell did you get done this week that you are proud, ashamed of or lied about? 
Teeeell me- you can post it anonymously and it would almost be like going to church!

(See that? You can now add "Went to church" to your own Shit I've Accomplished This Week as well as your Shit I've Lied About This Week list)


  1. See what you can get done when you take a break from Tweeting and Blogging and FB?? You're an inspiration to all of us!

    I loved this. Hilarious.

  2. Shit, I totally forgot to mention my really big accomplishment- I set my sister up with the crazy-ass doctor that fixed my mom's wrist and surgerized my rotator cuff a few years back!
    ALL of this without the use of Twitter, FB and Blogger!
    Oh, and I cured cancer.

  3. Took the boy to the ER, built a graveyard on my lawn, threw a kid party that was so fun, the kids ripped all the pictures off of thw boy's walls.

  4. Can we pretend I cleaned my house? I really really WANT it to be clean

  5. Hmmmm...gotta think about this for a sec...oh yeah, I too pawned off an annoying puppy, cleaned my house for weekend guests which was a total waste of time since they trashed the place anyway, did NOT get laid which I consider a bonus because I got to sleep an extra hour, and at my age, that is a hell of a lot more important to me. And oh yeah---I didn't exercise much this week but I DID pilfer all the mini Snickers bars from the Halloween candy bowl and hide them in my under ware drawer from my kids. I think I deserve a metal of that one.

  6. Like Jenn, I also took the boy to the ER. I also made a point of exercising every single day, but completely cancelled one or two of those days out with snacky habits (fucking halloween). I bought plane tickets to Arizona, then started to watch the movie "The Grey" and scared the shit out of myself within 15 minutes (totally turned it off after that) and will now spend the NEXT several weeks trying not to think of planes crashing or surviving in the frigid wilderness until rescuers arrive. Awesome.

  7. Hey Slackers!
    Jenn- Hope the kid is ok now.
    However, I think you can take it easy now- it's almost the end of the year and I'm certain you've got The Mom of the Year Award in the bag by now. Plus, you're making the rest of us look/feel bad. You can shit the f*ck up now, Mrs. Cleaver!
    Running Mama- I pretend to clean my house daily- how do you think I ever get to the gym??
    MM- Nicely done stealing candy from the kids- Snickers are always the first ones I steal too. Heh, heh, heh.
    Lost Girl- Hope your kiddo is ok now, too- was it hypothermia up there at the North Pole??
    That said, your choice to watch a movie with a plane crash a few weeks before a flight is like my decision to watch Knocked Up days before giving birth to my first kid....Duh.
    We must be from the same, stupid mold, us.

  8. Hey Sue--added you to my blog roll--gotta have my daily dose of humor. Oh yeah, and please bring more Snickers bars whenever you visit.....

  9. Thank you, Sweet/Hot n Sweaty Mama!
    Will bring booze, too!