Everybody's Smiling, Sunshine Day!

So, um, wow.
Thank you Ms. Clever and Ms. Monkey, as of yesterday morning I was awarded the Sunshine Award  by TWO awesome bloggers, at Something Clever 2.0 and Three Monkeys and a Martini.

The Sunshine Award is passed down from blogger to blogger like a chain letter or pyramid scheme except nobody dies if it doesn't get passed (Yaaay!) or makes a shitload of money if it does (Booo!). Recipients of this prestigious award all posses that "drop of golden sun"-like attitude towards life. Clearly, I have received the nominations in error. 

However, I am still honored because,two cool bloggers think I'm cute. And yet, really- Me? Sunshine? Clearly you both must still be buzzed from whatever you drank/popped last night. Or conversely, both Clever and Monkey have gone off their meds. Maybe a combination of all three.

Anyhow, as usual, along with great honor comes great responsibility. And as honored recipient, I am required to answer some questions before I pass the award along to some other worthy bloggers. 

Follow along, as I am now tasked with answering some not-so-sunshiney questions that I found somewhat disturbing. As usual, reader discretion is advised.

Name  A Girl Named Sue

Day Telephone 867-530 niiiiiiiiyyyne

Age at first menstruation About 27 years earlier than it should have been

What treatment do you use for cramps? I complain more than usual while Tall Guy feigns sympathy and pretends he has not heard it every 28 days for the past 15 years

Any PMS symptoms?  If so, describe: Yes. My moods become very erratic and I lose my patience easily with kids, dog and husband. I've been told it's difficult to recognize the difference between this particular time of the month and other time of the month with me

Ever Pregnant? With emotion? All the time, when I am knocked up. Or watching Knocked Up while being knocked up

Any breast problems? Definitely. The problem is they are a little floopier than I'd like

Do you examine your breasts regularly? Yes, once I put on a jog bra because then they are super sweet

Have you had sex with (Check all that apply) Men Women There are men and women applying to have sex with me? Is this a part of the award too?? I am loving this award!

If you use contraception, what form(s) do you use? I find that not having sex works great at keeping my uterus free of babies

Do you wish to continue with this method? No. I like having sex. In fact I love having sex- especially with my husband- Do you have a pill that will clean my house, take care of my kids and make me well rested? I think they call it a Spanish Fly or something. Please get back to me on that. Stat!

Are you taking any medications? No. And yes, the medical community is still scratching their heads in wonderment about this

Do you smoke? After a few drinks I think I am smoking hot. Does that count? I also think I am 27

How much alcohol do you drink each week? I will take the fifth on that. A fifth of Costco brand vodka, thank you very much. Oh, weekly? About a case of that, actually

Have you taken “recreational” drugs? Define "recreational". No, I did not go camping while on drugs. I did go to Disneyland on LSD in college once, does that count?

If yes, which ones? How 'bout we make this easier and I just tell you what I haven't used


Oh shit, you guys-

Turns out the questions above are from the form I have to fill out before my OB-GYN exam next month. My bad.

Well, this makes sense now, here's a complete list of the real questions I was supposed to answer but am now way too tired to do so:

1. What is your favorite Christmas/festive movie?

2. What is your favorite flower?

3. What is your favorite non-alcoholic beverage?

4. What is your passion?

5. What is your favorite time of year?

6. What is your favorite time of day?

7. What is your favorite physical activity?

8. What is your favorite vacation?

And although I totally screwed up the question thing, I will not eff-up handing off The Sunshine Award to five other awesome bloggers. 

Here are the funny-as-shit blogs that are the latest recipients of this prestigious flower-sticker- Sunshine Award! 

You made me (and lots of other lost souls) smile today!

Jackie-Ohhhh
The Artist Formerly Known as Lanna Cottrell
Potentially Crap Blog
Go Merrily!
Life on the SONny Side

Remember, bloggers, if you chose to accept the award, just pass it along to five other bloggers and don't forget to post your complete gynecological history on an upcoming blog.

OR you can answer the real questions listed above just like a normal person, not in need of prescription drugs. Or you can pretend, like the French knights in reference to the holy grail sought by King Arthur (in Monty Python's Holy Grail) that you "already have one" and totally ignore this.

Either way, have a Sunshine(y) Day !